Missing Time
by LastStandofAchilles
Summary: So, what happens in the time between when Shinji abandons Instrumentality and when Asuka comes back?


Yeah, Eva doesn't belong to me. So Gainax, you can put the spears back. I don't wanna be Swiss cheese. Actually, I don't really wanna be cheese anyway. On with the story...

* * *

The darkness slowly settled on the scene. Shinji Ikari, from all looks, an unremarkable 14-year old of Japanese descent, sat watching the sun set over the sea. At first glance, there would be nothing particularly odd about the scene, but upon closer inspection, one could see that the sea was not water. Instead, it was a sickly yellowish color, and instead of splashing freely as water would, it looked more as if it were partially coagulated. With still more inspection, the beach was a battered wasteland. A few telephone and power poles were left standing here and there, but many of them were blown over at ninety degree angles close to the ground, as if a nuclear blast had rocked the area.

Oh yes, there was the face, well, half-face. Half of the head was missing for lord knew what reason. It lay on its cheek in the barren wasteland. It must have stood a good mile tall, as clouds streaked below the eye. On the face sat a creepy smile, one that seemed like it was laughing at the boy and his predicament. The eye signaled near insanity in the last moment of that creature's life, the pupil was huge, and the face had an overall maniacal quality to it.

Related to the head, and about a quarter turn to the right, lay a massive hand, it lay on its back, fingers partially curled up. All the body parts of the huge creature shone almost unnaturally bright, almost as if they were generating their own light. Behind Shinji's back, a full moon was rising, meaning the face would stay well illuminated throughout the night.

Shinji had not reacted to much this day, not compared to what he had just been through. Almost as if a sadist was running his previous day, he had seen just about every one he had actually began developing bonds with killed. There was Misato, his caretaker for much of the last year, shot in the back in a flurry of bullets. There was Asuka, the fiery redhead, needled with at least ten spears, impaling her within the giant robot she piloted.

Then there was Rei, a quiet, some would say soulless, blue-haired albino. He had liked her until he found out that she was a clone of his mother. After that, he had not only hated her, but he had a deep fear of her. And what had happened the previous day was much more terrible. Rei herself had been the engine for which all that Shinji saw around him. The leveled buildings, the broken telephone poles, the burnt and twisted trees. Her.

But Shinji, as much as he hated to admit it, played just as big a role in what he saw. For a few hours, he had become a god. And if it hadn't been the ultimate form of running away, Shinji might have remained a god. But he saw reality as the tough, nitty-gritty that it was. And part of what he thought the world would be was here, manifested in front of him. A barren wasteland, devoid of any of the bluer colors. It was red, just like blood.

But none of that really mattered to Shinji. In fact, nothing really mattered at all to him. His heart had become a black hole, devoid of emotion. He was just there, living just as he had before the whole mess had started. Alone. In fact, to him, that was his one comfort, the aloneness. No one was around to make fun of him, to hit him, to generally make things bad for him. But as the quiet introspection continued, that was what made his life move forward. He had gone nowhere before that year at NERV, but after it began, he was his most happy. He had friends. But now they were all gone, vanished into that see of sickly yellow goop.

_And that's why you don't make friends. You're just setting yourself up for disaster._

But Shinji felt that even though his friends were the cause of this, they still needed memorials. He found some shattered telephone poles in the ground, and buried them partway into the soft sand to make memorials. He picked up a rusted nail from the ground and carved his friends and family's names into them.

The task done, Shinji laid down to sleep. He rolled onto his side, and felt something hard in his shirt pocket. He reached in and to his surprise, he pulled Misato's cross out. He looked at it closely. It was still a brilliant white color, just as it had been when Misato wore it. After a moment, he put it on the ground under her monument. He left to look for a stone, and when he found one, he came back and nailed the cross into Misato's memorial.

It had been a short day, but without any electricity or other source of light, Shinji had no choice but to sleep.

* * *

Shinji woke up the next morning, completely revitalized. The gloom of the last day was gone, the sand a bright yellow, a few pieces of green grass that had survived the catastrophe poked their heads out of the ground in spots. The sky, it was a deep blue, almost from zenith to horizon. The really only depressing thing about the area was the sea of LCL that still lapped at the shore.

The last night had been a very frigid one, and Shinji wasn't looking forward to spending another night out on the beach. He felt like he had some minor frostbite on his fingers and toes, so, he set off for what looked like the nearest settlement to find blankets. After about an hour, he finally came across a small tangle of poles and uplifted slabs of concrete. It looked worse than a warzone, but certain objects could still be made out.

To his left was a burnt out tank, still gently smoldering. Directly in front of him stood a slight jagged rim to a hole, Shinji surmised it was a foundation to a building. To his right, there was another building that was more intact. Although there were smoke stains on the windows, the building appeared to be made of concrete. Aside from the signs of fire, the building looked almost like nothing had happened. Hoping there would be some blankets inside, Shinji wandered in.

Almost immediately, he fell into the basement, because the floors had been weakened in the fire. Around him, nothing, it appeared, had been spared by the fire. Fortunately, there was a small steel ladder that he could use to climb out, so he grabbed that, and positioned it under the hole. As he began to climb, a glint caught his eye. Climbing back down from the ladder, Shinji recognized it as a metal door. Wondering if there might be any blankets or food stuffs within the door, he walked closer. Then, Shinji noticed that the door was cracked open, and Shinji's hope vanished.

_The fire must have burned everything inside_, Shinji thought. Still the curiosity of what was still in that room got the better of him, and he pushed the door open further. What he saw amazed him. On the far wall was a small closet, with two compartments. One contained a small pile of blankets, the other had three shirts and five pairs of pants. Nothing was burnt, and Shinji smelled no smoke. It was as if the room had been opened just for him. For a second, Shinji was happy to have his mission accomplished so soon. Then, the gravity of the situation hit him.

_It seems like the room was opened just for me._ For a second, he stood in shock. _Perhaps people were already coming back, just as Rei said they would? Maybe then, Asuka or Misato is back! But wait…if there are people around, wouldn't they take the clothes for themselves?_

A chill ran up Shinji's spine. For a second, he was torn between grabbing all he could from the room and possible have the door slam shut in the same mysterious way it had opened, trapping him inside, or, turn around and run away screaming. He chose the latter.

Shinji wandered for a few more hours, checking a few other ruins for food and blankets. He managed to find some small pots and a few days' provisions in the ruins of a restaurant, then decided to call it a day and walk back to the beach. Along the way, the bareness of the landscape fascinated Shinji. Two days ago, this area would have been beautiful woodland, with a few cottages poised up in the little hills around him. But now, where the little birds once sung, ashes floated by on the wind.

When he arrived at the beach, he realized that there was no water to cook with. He knew in a pinch, some seawater could be used to cook with, but even that was nowhere near to him. All that was there was the LCL sea. Shinji threw the pot in frustration.

_Gah! I'm such an idiot! How could I be so stupid as to forget water!_ Suddenly, a gut impulse tried to take him over. _The LCL! I could jump in and not be hungry! It nouris…THAT'S PEOPLE! YOU CAN'T EAT OR DRINK THAT! ITS WRONG!_ The other realization hit him hard. He was hungry, he reasoned, but it was only two days. Tomorrow, he would go back to the town, find some bottled water, bring back a small supply, and cook.

The sun was inching closer to the horizon, and Shinji noticed it. Looking around, he found some pieces of broken telephone poles, and began making a pile. He grabbed two little sticks and began rubbing them together to make a small campfire, and before long, he had a small bonfire going.

The next morning, Shinji woke up starving. It had been forever since he had been this hungry, the last time, it had been when his father got rid of him. Thinking with his stomach, he immediately went off in search of water. He ran back to that little town that he had found, stopping only when hunger cramps got the better of him. He knew he had better find water fast, because he was getting dehydrated very quickly. Soon, he would be reduced to almost nothing, entirely dependent on the hope that someone emerged from the sea, found him, and brought him water.

In record time, he made it into the village. After he checked the small restaurant and came up empty handed, Shinji sat down and began to cry. _This is all my fault. I just had to play the hero and bring myself back to the world. I could be happy and carefree in that-_

Shinji noticed a shadow fall over him. He looked up, and saw Rei standing in front of him. _No Shinji, you left the LCL sea, not to play the hero, but because you recognized that with total bliss came the loss of self._ Shinji sat in shock at the total surprise of seeing Rei. Shinji picked himself up to hug Rei. He didn't care who it was, he was happy that at least someone he knew was back. He tried to wrap his arms around her waist, but as they closed, they met air. Rei was gone.

He sat there at the restaurant for a few more hours, sobbing to himself. Then, as the sun was about to set, he trudged back to the beach, started another small bonfire, and fell asleep.

Infinite terror and infinite pleasure both competed for Shinji's attention. For the first time in a few days, he felt like he wasn't alone. A feeling of closeness with everyone relaxed him, and for a moment, he felt like everyone he knew was around him. Misato, Asuka, Rei, Toji, Kensuke, his father….then he awoke. Shinji was floating around in the sea of LCL. He wasn't hungry or thirsty anymore.

* * *

Shinji crawled ashore, swearing to himself. It was early afternoon and he realized that that meant he had been in the goo for half a day. _Now I have to go find new clothes._ So, he picked himself up and walked back to the town. He knew of only one place there in town, and it was the room with the metal door.

Drawing all the bravery he had ever felt, Shinji climbed back down the ladder into the basement, took the ladder down, and jammed it between the door and its frame. We walked into the room, grabbed a pair of clothes, and put them on. He grabbed some blankets, but as he was walking out of the room, he noticed some bottled water and food. He dropped the blankets and began squirting a bottle of water in his mouth, to wash the taste of the LCL away. Finally, with his needs taken care of, he grabbed the remaining food and water and wrapped them in the blankets. He picked up and walked out of the room. Then, he took the ladder, stood it back up, then grabbed the blankets and clothes and climbed out of the building.

The sun was nearing the horizon, and Shinji began to run back to the beach. But as he neared the beach, he noticed something. He recognized the subtlety of what it was and didn't kick himself for it, but still, it held his attention. There was grass growing, and not just a little bit. He ran to the beach, down to the memorial he made. He looked at Misato's memorial pole. The cross, pristine and white three days ago, was now rust colored, where rain had washed the rust off the nail.

Shinji sat wondering how long he had been in the LCL sea. As he contemplated this, he watched the sun set. For a while it got darker, and the giant creature's face began to dim. Then Shinji saw it, a small glowing sliver on the face. He watched it as it slowly grew down the face. He turned around, and was greeted by another full moon. He had been in the sea for at least a month, possibly longer. No one had returned yet, even after a month or more. There was no hope of people leaving heaven to come for him. An even worse realization dawned on him. He grew sick inside. He had lived for a month off liquefied people.

_NOOOOOOO! I'm a terrible person! I'm a cannibal! I—I……_Shinji broke down in tears. His appetite was now gone, replaced by a deepening nausea. He slowly grew more hysterical, then finally cried himself to sleep.

* * *

When Shinji woke up, he heard the heavy crashing of the tide coming in. Straight above him, a full moon illuminated a bright red arc in the sky, blood that had been sprayed into orbit by the giant. Shinji looked up at it, trying to figure out what it was. A sudden light breathing noise brought his mind back to earth. For a second, he just listened, then realized that the sound was not him, but something right next to him. His head rolled over to look. Right beside him, Asuka, still in a plugsuit, and with a bandage on her arm and eye, lay on her back, looking up at the stars the same way Shinji was, although her gaze was not directed at anything in particular.

Shinji sat up, and looked down at the girl. _She didn't come back for me. She must think there are others here. She doesn't need to see the world like this._ Slowly, he felt his hands tightening around her throat. A small gurgle came from her, but no other noise was made. Slowly, her bandaged arm rose up and caressed his face. Shinji's grip loosened, then finally he let go and collapsed into tears on her chest.

She said two words. "How disgusting."

* * *

Well, a short little story I wrote up in three days. I'll leave this incomplete for now, because I'm considering telling this from another POV, then possibly with an EoE continuation. I really don't have any other ideas at the moment, so that's looking like a very distinct possibility. 


End file.
